2007 Bloggies: Best-Kept Secret Weblog [view: normal]

Sometimes it’s just unavoidable: we have to drive cattle down the road.

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We worked cattle right before we left, and I brought these photos along with me.

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Kansas City was wonderful.

A local independent bookseller, Rainy Day Books, organized two signings there, which meant I had to rein in my agoraphobic tendencies twice in the same 24-hour period. In addition, I had to take two showers, apply deodorant two times, and try twice as hard not to poke out my eye with my Pat Benatar black eyeliner since I wear so much of it these days.

Gosh, do I ever lo...

This was an unexpected development.

Had I known my boys’ penmanship would come into play on this book trip, I might’ve spent a few weeks drilling before we left.

But at least I can tell myself the following:

1. They’re boys.
2. They don’t have much practice writing with Sharpies.
3. We don’t generally practice handwriting with the books balanced on their knees.
4. Their hands were cold from the n...

Before I continue with today’s posting, I thought I’d provide you a little glimpse into the world of Taking Your Two Young Sons To Your Book Signing Events.

Have you ever visited? It’s a cold, dark, frightening land filled with hidden dangers and terrors everywhere you turn.

Not recommended for those who enjoy order and predictability. ...

I have things to say.

So please…lend me your ears.

Ear.

Whatever.

Incidentally, did you know that famous speech by Mark Antony is one of the most well-known examples of rhetoric?

So glad I could be here for you this morning.

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Marlboro Man and I drove over to Little Rock, Arkansas Monday night for a cookbook signing in a brand new Wal Mart. After having a week of signings in charming little independent bookstores in Denver, Salt Lake City, and Phoenix last week, I had no idea what to expect. But Wal Mart and me, we go way back—nail polish, baby wipes, and all—and I was equal to the task and excited to meet new buddies...

He tries to stay home. He tries to stay on the porch. But eventually, Charlie feels the call of the wild.

(We’ll talk about the pink another time. It was a personal choice, though—that much I can tell you.)

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Cows don’t care about Bonnie Hunt, book signings, or bestseller lists.

No, really. They seriously don’t care. Just ask a cow if you don’t believe me. Just saunter up to one of them and ask, “Did you guys catch that Bonnie Hunt episode where the Backstreet Boys performed?”

They’ll just look at you and say, “Mehhhhh.”

Not “Moooooo“. “Mehhhhh.”

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If you’re a fair-skinned redhead…

I can hardly put my feelings about the past two weeks into words.

The release of my crazy little cookbook.

Launching it in Tulsa, Oklahoma City, and our wonderful little small town.

Traveling with my mother-in-law and sister-in-law Missy to Denver, then Salt Lake City, then Phoenix.

Meeting so many of you. Learning your names. Seeing your faces. Hearing your voices. Taking photos together, exch...

This is how Charlie greeted me when I returned home late Saturday night.

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Marlboro Man, Charlie, and the kids have been living without me since last Sunday morning. We knew this first leg of the Griswold Book Trip would be a little tough, not just because I was going to be away from the four punks for six whole days, but also because I brought my sister-in-law Missy and our mother-in-law on the trip with me…which basically meant there’d be zero estrogen on the ranch all...

Oh yes…

I’m on my Griswold-Style Book Trip right now, and because Marlboro Man and the kids had cow, soccer, calf, and manure obligations this week, I dragged along both his mom and Missy, Pesky Tim’s wife. We blazed first to Denver so I could sign cookbooks and meet some very nice people while trying to figure out exactly how to breath at high altitudes while wearing Spanx (I never quite figured it out),...

Mike and Ga-Ga drove out to the ranch Saturday to spend the day with my mom, the kids, and me. Ga-Ga wanted to see my mom on her birthday, and Mike wanted to fold my laundry.

Ga-Ga drove. Mike navigated.

She’s one of Hooker’s puppies.

But first…

Some scenes from last night.

Curlylocks, Curlylocks
Wilt thou be mine?

The last 24 hours have been a whirlwind, a blur, and I have no feeling in my right arm. Right now, I’m typing with my left hand. Just watch what happens when I type with my right hand:

ogylsdoiufsjelrkjwerkjnsPAULISDEADjkhgsdopofisud

See?

I’m a blogger. I’m also a Tweeter. And yesterday at 6:42 pm, give or take nine seconds, I tweeted the following cry for help:

“I’m scared.”

And I really, re...

We had to wean 200 calves yesterday morning. I got there late, because I wasn’t on time.

I’ve decided I’m going to give obvious reasons for my faults today.

“I’m not doing laundry, because I don’t want to.”

“I didn’t exercise, because I wouldn’t get off the couch.”

“I won’t do the dishes, because I’m lazy.”

No more of that “I was late because I had to get the wash on the line and scrub the baseb...

It’s what I do when I’m nervous. I look at photos like this. It’s a crutch.

On another note, I have some things to say this morning. Please, for my sake, bear with me.

1. We’re weaning 200 calves this morning.

This is Culver City, where The Bonnie Hunt Show is filmed. When we drove by the sign that read “Welcome to Culver City” I experienced a gastrointestinal meltdown.

You don’t want to know any more than that.

The show is filmed at Culver Studios, which used to be DesiLu productions.

Anyone remember DesiLu productions? I do. Desi. Lucy. Sigh.

Culver Studios is right across the street from Sony Pictu...

My two daughters and I left the chores of the ranch behind (crying copious tears of joy in the process) and flew west to my old stomping ground.

I haven’t been here since last century.

I haven’t been here for a very, very long time.

These are the facts of the case and they are undisputed:

1. These are not my lips.

2. Monday night, I served my family some scoops of ice cream. Before I could serve myself some scoops of ice cream, I became distracted by the sight of Charlie, having a smackdown in our yard with Daisy the Cow. I wasn’t concerned about Daisy. She’s a cow and could take Charlie with one leg tied behind her back. I w...